I Wish...

I made a list of wishes when things started getting hard in life. Ironically, looking back at these, many of these desires I have already found, or don't want anymore. Many of them are currently in progress.


Written September 5, 2009

I wish I could fly.
I wish I could see through the pain.
I wish I had no regrets in life.
I wish I was stronger.
I wish I wasn't as sensitive to what other people say about me.
I wish I didn't have to hide behind a mask and pretend to be something I'm not.
I wish I wasn't afraid of food.
I wish I could see things through the eyes of Christ.
I wish I could figure out who I am.
I wish I could sing...and dance.
I wish I wasn't afraid of what other people thought about me.
I wish I was a better driver.
I wish I could change things.
I wish things would stay the same.
I wish I was more decisive.
I wish I could feel God...and see and touch Him.
I wish I liked tomatoes...they seem pretty cool.
I wish I knew what I was doing.
I wish I was more open.
I wish I was more reserved.
I wish I had more confidence in myself and in my abilities.
I wish I could forget.
I wish I could remember.
I wish I could get really angry just once.
I wish I was more comfortable being by myself.
I wish I had more friends.
I wish I knew how to be a better friend.
I wish I could put together an outfit like on the manequins and look really good in it.
I wish I was more understood.
I wish I could understand.
I wish I had more great ideas.
I wish I had all the answers.
I wish I could see every country in the world.
I wish I had the guts to go bungee jumping.
I wish I wasn't afraid of escalators.
I wish I had the right words to say.
I wish I knew what people were thinking.
I wish I could find some comfort.
I wish I could rest.
I wish I wouldn't worry about every little thing.
I wish I wouldn't worry about the big things.
I wish I could trust people more.
I wish I wasn't so trusting of people.
I wish my life wasn't so complicated.
I wish my life wasn't so mundane.
I wish my life wasn't full of paradoxes.
I wish I drank more water.
I wish there really was an "easy" button.
I wish I wasn't afraid of rejection.
I wish I wasn't afraid of failure.
I wish I knew all my fears.
I wish I was better at talking.
I wish I was better at listening.
I wish my face wouldn't break out so much.
I wish I had more control.
I wish I could have candles in my apartment.
I wish I had more money to buy more candles.
I wish I had more money period.
I wish I had more time.
I wish time would go by faster.
I wish I was more sophisticated and artsy and read books while drinking Earl Grey tea in a charming little coffee house, while listening to a mellow Indies-Punk band.
I wish I could remember what all I wished.
I wish I didn't get hurt so easily...physically and emotionally.
I wish I could cry more.
I wish I didn't cry so much.
I wish I didn't have to take chemistry.
I wish I could say all my thoughts out loud without being afraid of what people would think.
I wish I didn't feel guilty after eating.
I wish I had the strength to ask for help.
I wish I could just walk up to people and start a really awesome conversation.
I wish I knew more about God.
I wish I knew more about the Bible.
I wish I didn't ask God "Why".
I wish I fully understood my own sin.
I wish I fully understood God's unconditional love for me.